Bee-Yon-Kaa

The first time I laid eyes on Tavon , I thought for sure he was the one for me….I guess I kind of picked him , out, like at the grocery store when you’re trying to find the perfectly, ripened tomato, that’s what Tavon was to me, that perfectly, ripened tomato. His smile was the prettiest, he had the clearest skin I’ve ever laid eyes on, and he was perfect in so many ways. We were talking for about 2 weeks. We would literally stay on the telephone from the time we got home until the time we went to sleep and even after that we would sometimes fall asleep on the phone together so it felt like we were right next to each other. During those 2 weeks, Tavon would joke around and say okay you’re my girlfriend now and then say sike like 2 minutes after….then on November 11, 2007, he came to my house late at night and we sat on the couch closest to the dining room and he held me. Before he left, we stood by the door and I hugged him goodbye, he then pressed his back to the wall where the shoe rack is now and he pulled me close to him and said; now you’re my girlfriend…and I said really? He said yes, really this time. And he kissed me so passionately I felt like I had risen from the ground…his kiss gave me chills down my spine….a feeling I don’t think I could ever forget. I don’t understand where we fell apart. I don’t know where the first sign of us falling apart began…I don’t know anything. Tavon was my everything, my world, I loved him more than anything….he w as a gentlemen, charming, caring, loving, everything I wanted. But now, everything’s fallen apart. Like when you get old you slowly start to lose parts of yourself; your hearing, eyesight, and memory…I feel like we are getting old, even though we are only pushing 18 years old. I miss what we used to be like. I miss when he used to hold me tight at night and tell me that he would never let me go and that he was always going to be here. I miss all the fun we used to have together like when we would wrestle or when he would sneak over to my house in the middle of the night.  I miss when the possibilities for us were endless. I miss when we would walk to the Avenue through the little path in the woods and he would hold my hand the whole way. I miss when he would wake me up in the middle of the night just to say, “Baby, I love you.” I miss when I would have nightmares and he was right next to me to save me and wipe my tears and tell that he was there and it was okay, that nothing was going to ever hurt me again. I miss him saying I want to be with you forever. I miss his kiss, touch, everything. I wish that I was different…